A man in a Florida supermarket wanted to buy half a head of lettuce.
The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce… the man persists and asks to see the manager.
So the boy says he’ll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, “Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce!”, and as he finished his sentence he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “and this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.”
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, “I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who can think on their feet around her. Where are you from, son?”
“Canada, sir,” the boy replied.
“Well why did you leave Canada?” the manager asked.
The boy said, “Sir, there’s nothing but whores and hockey players up there.”
“Really?” said the manager. “My wife is from Canada.”
“No shit?” replied the boy. “Who’d she play for?”
With a 25-year career defined by digital entrepreneurship, Adam Bernard transforms complex business strategy into intelligent, operational systems. He is the creator of the Strategic Intelligence Engine, a proprietary framework used to build a company’s central Knowledge Base – a single source of truth that aligns marketing, sales, and AI initiatives for predictable growth.
As the founder of Lynx Digital Marketing (est. 1999) and several successful e-commerce ventures, his expertise spans from advanced SEO and e-commerce management to executive-level marketing leadership. A testament to his unique “balance-brained” approach, he also curates the Library of Laughs, a personal project dedicated to systematically capturing and organizing humor. Adam’s work focuses on providing leaders with the actionable intelligence and strategic clarity required to thrive in the age of AI.
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